You want to say Hi to the cute girl on the subway. How will she react? Fortunately, I can tell you with some certainty, because she’s already sending messages to you. Looking out the window, reading a book, working on a computer, arms folded across chest, body away from you = do not disturb. So, y’know, don’t disturb her. Really. Even to say that you like her hair, shoes, or book. A compliment is not always a reason for women to smile and say thank you. You are a threat, remember? You are Schrödinger’s Rapist. Don’t assume that whatever you have to say will win her over with charm or flattery. Believe what she’s signaling, and back off.
If you speak, and she responds in a monosyllabic way without looking at you, she’s saying, “I don’t want to be rude, but please leave me alone.” You don’t know why. It could be “Please leave me alone because I am trying to memorize Beowulf.” It could be “Please leave me alone because you are a scary, scary man with breath like a water buffalo.” It could be “Please leave me alone because I am planning my assassination of a major geopolitical figure and I will have to kill you if you are able to recognize me and blow my cover.”
On the other hand, if she is turned towards you, making eye contact, and she responds in a friendly and talkative manner when you speak to her, you are getting a green light. You can continue the conversation until you start getting signals to back off.
The fourth point: If you fail to respect what women say, you label yourself a problem.
There’s a man with whom I went out on a single date—afternoon coffee, for one hour by the clock—on July 25th. In the two days after the date, he sent me about fifteen e-mails, scolding me for non-responsiveness. I e-mailed him back, saying, “Look, this is a disproportionate response to a single date. You are making me uncomfortable. Do not contact me again.” It is now October 7th. Does he still e-mail?
Yeah. He does. About every two weeks.
This man scores higher on the threat level scale than Man with the Cockroach Tattoos. (Who, after all, is guilty of nothing more than terrifying bad taste.) You see, Mr. E-mail has made it clear that he ignores what I say when he wants something from me. Now, I don’t know if he is an actual rapist, and I sincerely hope he’s not. But he is certainly Schrödinger’s Rapist, and this particular Schrödinger’s Rapist has a probability ratio greater than one in sixty. Because a man who ignores a woman’s NO in a non-sexual setting is more likely to ignore NO in a sexual setting, as well.
So if you speak to a woman who is otherwise occupied, you’re sending a subtle message. It is that your desire to interact trumps her right to be left alone. If you pursue a conversation when she’s tried to cut it off, you send a message. It is that your desire to speak trumps her right to be left alone. And each of those messages indicates that you believe your desires are a legitimate reason to override her rights.
For women, who are watching you very closely to determine how much of a threat you are, this is an important piece of data."
an excerpt from Phaedra Starling’s “Schrödinger’s Rapist: or a guy’s guide to approaching strange women without being maced” (via lostgrrrls)
HOLY FUCK THE TRUTH.
Can every one of my male followers read this? And please, before you get defensive (“I would never rape anyone!”) keep in mind, women being afraid of Shrodinger’s Rapists (oh my god i still can’t get over the encompassing brilliance of this phrase) is a conditioned, learned response from being immersed in rape culture and the evolution of sexism and sexual violence in our society from the day we’re born. And unfortunately, it’s very difficult to unlearn without the efforts of all genders to dismantle it. Which is where you come in.
It’s time for another giveaway~! 8D
This giveaway will have ONE WINNER. Said winner will be selected via a random number generator blah blah blah. Y’all know how giveaway’s work.
- Hanging Mikasa and Levi keychains! I got these in a set off of AliExpress. They’re super tough hard acrylic. And adorable.
- The March 2014 Lootcrate exclusive Wings of Freedom wristband! Still in it’s packaging. Very old school.
- A copy of Volume 1! I ended up with two. Oops.
- Eren and Hanji MUSHROOM RUBBERSTRAPS. I wish I had a clue about these guys. But yeah.
- A bleach splatter Wings of Freedom shirt from Alk’Mar! This’ll be ordered in your size once the giveaway is over.
- Two SNK phone charms from stishovite's storenvy! These babies aren’t available yet. You’ll get to pick the characters when the giveaway ends, and not just Mikasa, Eren, or Bertl!
- Do not use giveaway blogs. I’ll be checking.
- One reblog, one like. Reblog more if you want but Tumblr will only show me the most recent reblog of yours.
- You do not have to follow me BUT followers get an extra entry!
- I’m not willing to pay to ship internationally (I’m in the USA) but if you are willing to pay the shipping cost if you win, be my guest!
- Be aware I will need your name and address to mail you the prize, should you win. Also your shirt size.
- If you win, I will notify you by ask. You will have 48 hours (or 72 if I’m feeling generous or notice that you’re not actively blogging) to respond. If you do not respond within that time, I will choose a different winner.
- Winners will be chosen April 16th!
If you have any questions, please feel free to send me an ask. Good luck~!
This ends midnight tomorrow!
At least three dead in two shootings at Jewish centers in Kansas. 15-year-old boy reported to be critically wounded; police report one person was in custody; man reportedly yelled ‘Heil Hitler’ when police arrested him.
Reblogging again to add:
Also, non-Jews, please spread this. People will forget about it otherwise. The police say they aren’t ready to call it a hate crime, despite the fact that witnesses have said that the man was asking people if they were Jewish and waiting for an affirmative response before shooting. The more people who are paying attention to this story the harder it will be for it to be swept under the rug.
A lot of people are currently very excited about the recent Cap movie. If you believe that it was worthwhile for Steve Rogers to fight fictional nazis, please show that you care about the people harmed by those in the real world who still agree with Nazi ideology. If you can get super excited and make tons of posts about Cap, then you can do this too, right? (obviously there are people who are upset/triggered by this stuff, which is an entirely different situation. but if you can spread the word please do)
OH MY GOSH so as it’s 4/13 Hussie’s released this new site which is going to contain a bunch of random comics with backstories, extensions on narrative, crack scenarios- EXTRA CONTENT!- from various artists and occasionally Hussie himself. The idea is that the characters in Homestuck are in a bit of a confined plot and Hussie wants more freedom with their interactions etc., so ANY AND ALL of our favourite characters will star! Best birthday present to fans EVER.
[Edit]: The above artwork is NOT mine, if you were wondering! It belongs to the artist at paradoxspace, as duly credited in the panels :)