kissyourneck-slitmythroat: my 2 year old brother has discovered what his penis is and he keeps taking it out of his diaper and playing with it and today he like FIRE HOSE PEED EVERYWHERE AND NOW HE WONT STOP TAKING IT OUT AND WE WENT TO WASH HIS HANDS AND HE GOT IT OUT AND PEED ON MY OTHER BROTHER AND SAID HE WAS THE PENIS POLICE AND MY STEPMOM SCREAMED AND SAID THAT HE HAS LOST HIS PENIS BADGE...
10knotes: ugh summer look at my awful tan line (via/follow Only Posts With 10,000 Notes)
himapapaftw: joeshmo: shavingryansprivates: romeo romeo where the fuck is you, romeo Fuck you, the original line in Romeo and Juliet is “Wherefore art thou”. And maybe if you stopped being an assumption-making bag of fucking asshole, you’d know that wherefore does NOT FUCKING MEAN “WHERE”, WHEREFORE MEANS “WHY”. SHE’S ASKING WHY HIS NAME IS ROMEO. FUCK ALL OF YOU. FUCK ALL OF YOU HARD UP...
what if those “you’ve just won a giftcard/laptop/big money” things were actually real instead of scams and for years we’ve just been denying free gifts and somewhere in the world someone is like crying behind their computer screen whispering why won’t you just let me do nice things
people who think they have as much swag as numbuh five
anwaed: when someone reblogs a post you also reblogged and you thought they reblogged it from you but they reblogged it from someone else and you just feel really hurt and betrayed
helloemilyjane: videohall: Every 3D movie is the same now i just pissed myself